My thoughts today

My mother in law passed away peacefully on Friday morning.  She went to heaven and was joyfully reunited with her beloved husband Ernie of 40 years.  We are happy this she is no longer struggling here on Earth.  She fought the good fight for over 10 years, outliving her diagnosis by 8 years. 

I had somewhat distanced myself emotionally from Cindy since Ernie died.  I still visited her occasionally, talked on the phone, and brought the kids over to play at her house when I could.  But it was so hard for me to see her without him.  I knew her heart was broken.  She was such a tough lady but living without him was hard.  They completed each other, enjoyed working together, and loved their grandchildren dearly.  They had very few fights which mainly pertained to Ernie wearing his dirty boots in the house and forgetting to take a shower before he climbed into bed after a long day of work.  I'm so glad they are finally together again.

Cindy was always there to share some of her wisdom with me.  I don't sew, so it was very helpful to have a mother-in-law to patch our clothes and sew buttons for us.  She always was willing to listen if I had a problem, no matter how big or small.  She wore many hats, working at the bakery, managing the farm bookkeeping, and being a good grandma, mom, and friend to lots of people.  Most of all, she had a faith stronger than anyone I know.  She trusted Jesus fully and without reservation.

We have such a big void in our family that can never be filled.  I know time will heal some of our pain.  Lots of tears will be shed but we also rejoice that Cindy is in Heaven, a place that we all want to be someday.  ~ Lydia

http://www.wardfuneralhomekansas.com/fh/obituaries/obituary.cfm?o_id=3982667&fh_id=10337

Making if through the Ups and Downs

Dan and I were just talking about our wedding last night.  I love this picture from August 2009.  His Mom and Dad often said it was one of the most fun times in their lives.  Cindy was feeling good health-wise.  I remember her telling me that one of the greatest blessings in her life was seeing her son marry the person that God made for him.  Ernie was being as ornery as ever, going shot for shot of whiskey at the bar with some of Dan's groomsmen.  If you knew Ernie, you knew he gave up drinking probably 25 years before our wedding, but he just couldn't let the young guys show him up that night.

It was such a wonderful day.  Our family hadn't had anything bad happen to us yet.  Our nephew Kaden was still here, we hadn't suffered any miscarriages, we hadn't gone through the roller coaster of having a preemie, I hadn't gone through my crazy post-partum depression stage after Ida Mae was born, we hadn't seen our precious premature niece Savannah pass away just a few days after birth, and we hadn't gone through Ernie's farm accident and seeing Cindy's disease progress to what it is today.

But there are good things that have happened since our wedding too.  We've had some nice black calves to sell, good crops, and pretty decent prices most years.  I had a job in crop insurance for 6 years and now have truly found a career in what I'm meant to do.  We are missing some people in this picture too.  Two more beautiful nieces (Abi and Lily), another nephew (Kaleb), and our two blondies (Lorena and Ida Mae) have been born since our wedding day.

We all went to visit Cindy today and we had some good laughs and she shared her normal words of wisdom with us.  She's got a lot of faith, faith I wish I had now.  Life has ups and downs.  Sometimes you have to get through the bad to get to the good.  Every family goes through these things, we've just had our share recently.  I know there are good days ahead though.  Please continuing praying for Cindy's health and strength for our family. ~ Lydia