Sharing some wisdom

Isn't it interesting how our experiences give us a whole new perspective on life?  When we have suffered through difficult times it brings us to a whole new level of understanding.  My mother-in-law Cindy has been through a lot with her life and she holds a lot of "wisdom" which she likes to share with all of us!  I have to admit that some things go in one ear and out the other during our conversations, but occasionally she says things that make my ears perk up.  A few months ago we were talking and she said, "ya know Lydia, you and I are a lot alike!."  Have I been hanging around with my mother-in-law too much?  :-) Anyway, I plan on sharing some wisdom with you and you can either read it or ignore it, but I just can't be silent anymore. 

My heart aches for anyone who is going through infertility or miscarriages.  Dan and I didn't really try very long (just a few years in total, but just about 6 months using intervention).  We didn't really tell anyone what we were going through because it is rather embarrassing not to be able to get pregnant.  Now that we have "overcome infertility" (I really don't think you ever get over it!) and have Lorena, I think it is rather sad that I feel like I can talk about it now.  I wish that I could have blogged about my feelings during those rough years.  There are a lot of people out there suffering and it is still painful to think back on those days.  I know we will have to go through the same process next time too.  Perhaps my blog could have helped me (and you, whoever you are) work through those painful moments when it seemed like everyone was getting pregnant but us. 

Having a preemie really changes perspective too.  Just this past month, I have let myself kiss my daughter.  I was convinced that if I kissed Lorena (even on her cheek or forehead), she would get sick and have to be hospitalized.  It feels good to let my guard down and kiss her chubby cheeks now.  Looking back, I was terrified to let anyone hold her up until March.  I had created this world in my head that she would get RSV and be on a ventilator immediately if someone touched her.  I have finally relaxed.  We have started going back to church and being around more people.  We did the Palmer Easter Egg hunt with cousins and then we did Easter dinners with family.  It is finally starting to feel normal.

I have always been pro-life, but having a preemie definitely has strengthened my views on life.  We saw Lorena's heartbeat when she was 6 1/2 weeks gestation.  She was a fully formed baby, flailing her arms and legs around, during our 10 week ultrasound.  I felt my precious baby move at 20 weeks and found out she was a girl at 22 weeks.  And gave birth to her unexpectedly at 28 weeks.  I'm so thankful for the NICU doctors and nurses who fought for Lorena's life.  Without them and the grace of God, she would not be here today, celebrating her 7 month birthday! 

Birthday   2 pounds 7.9 ounces

 

7 months - over 16 1/2 pounds

I'm not trying to offend anyone with my comments, nor am I condemning any person who has experienced abortion, I'm just merely sharing my thoughts.  I know I have many family and friends that have different opinions on this subject.  I have been rather lucky.  I never had to deal with an unplanned or teen pregnancy, or gone through trauma of rape, when abortion feels like the best option.  I just think that something is wrong in our society.  How can lawmakers and organizations with power and money tell us that these babies are just a clump of cells?  I have mourned a first trimester miscarriage, and cried with moms who have experienced second trimester miscarriages.  We treat these as valid losses but what about the babies who have been aborted at these stages?   Through our experience, we have learned that even babies born at 22-23 weeks gestation can thrive if given proper NICU care. Babies have been aborted at this age and even into the third trimester!   With NICU care and God's healing power, these babies could have survived. Our NICU doctors and nurses fought hard to keep Lorena alive. With all the medical advances in neonatal care, it just doesn't make sense to me that some babies have been aborted and thrown away like trash at viable stages.  Once again, I am not blaming the moms.  I blame our society which accepts killing babies.  I believe that life begins at conception and that each of us has the right to life.  I am the first to admit that this is a very complicated issue and that I don't have all the answers.  I just know that having adoption resources, access to care for teens and women with unplanned pregnancies, more education, and after care for families who have experienced abortion may help.  I just know that the culture of life needs to change somehow because innocent babies are dying everyday.  I also believe that those of us that are pro-life and are afraid to offend someone, shouldn't be silent anymore.