Kansas Day got me thinking....

Here I am waiting on some farmers to call me back so I can finish up their claims, and I just realized I haven't done a blog for almost a month.  I need to be better about blogging more frequently...

Kansans celebrate Kansas Day on January 29th of every year.  As a kid in school, students know all about this day, but as a transplant to the state I have had to do some google searches to figure out exactly what this day means.  Kansas Day commemorates the admission of the state to the Union on January 29, 1861.  Teachers make sunflower cakes for their classes, kids learn all about our rich history, and it is a time for all of us to be thankful for our great state.  I really think it is a neat tradition.  I found a statement from our Senator Jerry Moran regarding Kansas Day. "“On January 29, 1861, Kansas was founded on the ideals of freedom and individual responsibility. The spirit of those early pioneers who settled our state and tamed the West still lives on today as Kansans work to improve our communities, our state and our nation."  Pretty cool stuff! Full link to comments can be read here: http://www.wibw.com/home/headlines/Senator-Moran-Issues-Statement-On-Kansas-Day-242611261.html

I have officially been a resident for 5 years now.  I really do love it here even though I have days when I miss my friends and family from home.  Looking back, it has been a good 5 years.  I have to admit though the first year was definitely the hardest.  I moved "out west" to be with a farmboy I met on the internet.  Sounds promising doesn't it?  We had dated long distance for 2 years but we still had a lot to learn about dating within driving distance of each other.  I had no friends or close family, a new family to get to know, a new job an hour and a half away from Dan that I hated, a new apartment, and a completely unknown environment.  We were also trying to plan a wedding which can be very stressful.  I have to admit that there were a few times I doubted my decision to move here but I stuck to my gut feeling that everything would work out ok in the end.  After all, how could you not have fun with this guy and fall in love with our rolling hills.

After some growing pains, things are all good now and I can hardly believe it's been 5 years.  Kansas has been welcoming for the most part: I have met some friends, have grown close to Dan's family, and I like my job, but it is still hard being so far away from my best friends from college and my family.  I think it will always be that way unfortunately.  Thank goodness for Facebook, cell phones, and modern transportation to get me back to Illinois.  I think my Subaru Outback is in for it...somehow I have racked up 26,000 miles on already in just 10 months.  Happy Kansas Day!

The Working Mom Struggle

Happy New Year to all my readers!  2013 was an exciting year for us.  I would say the biggest joys for me were having Lorena home and finding out I was pregnant again with our second daughter.  The hardest thing for me in 2013 was trying to find work/life balance.  I know all moms struggle with this but it is so much harder than I imagined it would be.  My job is slower during February and March so those months aren't too bad.  But other than that, it is a full-time job plus some weekends.  As any job in agriculture, everything hinges on the weather.  2012 and 2013 were drought years in Central Kansas so there were tons of farmers to visit and claim paperwork to complete.  I truly love my job, co-workers, and company I work for so I'm so lucky in that respect, but sometimes I just don't see how I can keep up with everything life throws at me.

I know my husband thinks I'm doing fine but I just feel like I fall short in every category right now.  I can't devote as much time to work as I did before Lorena so I don't feel like I'm the caliber of employee I used to be.  Lorena has had a rough fall with being sick, and when she is sick she just wants her mom, so I have missed a lot of work days taking care of her.  The house is constantly in disarray, toys littered everywhere, graham crackers crumbs stuck in the carpet, almond milk spilled in the kitchen, etc.  And the laundry...the dreaded laundry.  I feel like I'm pretty good at washing and drying it, but it usually ends up in a pile on the spare bed.  And who has time to cook?  I also do all the bookwork for our farm but I hate not having time to go outside and help the guys.  I also feel like my relationship with Dan is taking a back seat.  Lorena's current schedule works pretty well for us.  We get home from daycare around 6, eat supper around 7, then bath, playtime, and then usually she goes to bed around 9:30 or 10.  I can't imagine what it would be like if she went to bed earlier in the evening...I wouldn't have anytime with her! This schedule works best for Lorena but it means the only time Dan and I get alone is from 10 pm until bedtime.  I usually fall asleep on the couch after we put Lorena to bed and then Dan wakes me up about 11 pm and we both go to bed.

I just reread this and it definitely sounds like I'm complaining.  After everything we went through to have our babies, you think I would enjoy all of things that are thrown at me as a mom.  So now I feel guilty about complaining at all, and my head tells me "I just need to be happy that I'm a mom."  Pregnancy hormones play weird tricks on me so I think this could be part of my problem.  I just worry that if I'm having a hard time managing now with just one child, how will I manage with another baby?  I know I'm not alone.  Millions of moms have multiple kids and more demanding jobs than I do, but I'm just wondering if they struggle like I do?  Fellow working moms....do you have any tips for me?  How do you make it all work?