I love the TLC Show "Nineteen Kids and Counting." If you are not familiar with it, it's about the Duggar Family that has 19 children. The mom, Michelle, recently found out that it is highly unlikely that she will be able to conceive another child. She is coming to terms with this and has said many times that the baby season of life is over for her. She has also said that she is looking forward to other seasons in life like seeing her children become adults, weddings, and more grand babies. She is embracing the next season God is giving her. I really get a lot of insight from this program.
I realized a few weeks ago that my season of life has changed. Having a baby is such a blessing, but also an enormous responsibility. Now that we have 2 kids, I am beginning to see the ginormous responsibility that we have been given. Don't get me wrong, life did change when we had Lorena but I did feel like I could pretty much still do everything and have some sort of a social life. I'm now outnumbered by the girls and it is a bit overwhelming. I'm really trying to embrace my current season of having babies. This is such a good season but a difficult season as well! My mother-in-law always told me that "the baby years" are very challenging and I'm beginning to think she was spot on.
Ida is almost 6 weeks old. We are still trying to establish a routine for the girls. Ida is a wonderful sleeper so far. She sleeps for 7-8 hours at night now which is awesome right? I shouldn't be tired but I am. I think being a Mom is just going to be tiring for the rest of my life. Now that she has been with us for a while, it's really sinking in to me about how different life is with two kids. It was cute and challenging trying to balance a newborn and toddler at first but now it is frustrating and exhausting. I find myself not "liking" Lorena as much. I know that sounds bad, but I'm just being honest. I think all Moms must go through this right? She is just constantly pushing my buttons. Lorena is either climbing on me, climbing on tables, taking the bottle out of Ida's mouth, basically doing anything bad to get attention. She wants to be held all the time (she never even wanted this much as a baby!). I left the room for 2 seconds at one point and came back to find Lorena dragging Ida across the floor by her feet. When I made her stop, she tried to hit Ida with a fly swatter! It's just hard (and impossible) to be in two places at once. I try to balance my time between the two girls but I feel like my brain is going in too many directions at once. There are some times that make it all worth it. Whether it is putting Lorena's hair in pig tails, hearing her say "cow" when we drive by the feed lot, or seeing her wave at a diesel truck because she thinks it's her daddy...these times are still wonderful with her.
Dan's current season of life is farming. Dan's been working with hay the past week and getting ready for wheat harvest. It seems like he is constantly busy on the farm. I know he loves the responsibility and thrives on it but it is hard on me when he gets home after 9:30 p.m. most nights. I know this too shall pass but for farm wives it is basically our lot in life some seasons.
I start back to work on Monday so maybe that's why I have been analyzing life so much! Part of me is ready to go back but part of me is not. I will let you know how it all works out next week in my post about going back to work.
~Lydia
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