Ernie's Truck

It's been hard to know what to say to the girls about Ernie's death.  They loved their grandpa Ernie but they are still very young.  I've been conflicted on whether or not to talk about him.  As each day passes, I worry that the girls will forget about him.  But I also don't want to bring up his name because I don't want the girls to cry and say they want to see Grandpa Ernie.  Ida still doesn't talk much but she can recognize his picture.  Lorena can talk about him and does ask a few questions.

So after some thinking, I've decided that I don't want the girls to forget him.  I'm going to talk about him everyday.  Today when I put the girls in their car seats I reminded them that Grandpa went to Heaven and is with Savannah and Kaden.  Lorena shook her head up and down and said "Yep."  Ernie's pickup truck is still parked in our machine shed.  As we drove by his truck this morning Lorena said, "Grandpa doesn't need his truck anymore."  I smiled and said "Yep that's right Lorena."

My dream for the girls is to never have any heartache or pain, but I've come to realize that this isn't reality.  The night of the accident I remember Cindy saying that "Life is hard, and that it gets harder as you get older."  It took me a while to comprehend that but I think she's right. Yes, I'm agreeing with my mother in law on something.

Life is hard here on Earth.  There's pain, sickness, sorrow, jealousy, evil, and sin that surround us everyday of the week.  I'm almost 32 and have been a Christian my whole life but I'm finally starting to think about why we are really here on Earth.  The goal is to get to Heaven.  A place with no suffering!  It sure would be sad if all we had was this earthly life.  There MUST be something more than this!  Thankfully as Christians, it's very reassuring to know that there is something more.  And Lorena's right, Ernie doesn't need his dirty old truck anymore.

Blessings ~ Lydia

Our New Normal

It's been one week since my father in law passed away in a farming accident.  This past week has been pretty blurry for most of us.  It's easy to forget what day it is because the days seem to blend together.

Ernie farmed and ranched with two of his brothers, his son, nephew, and close cousin.  The day to day operation of the farm will continue but Ernie's passing has changed life for all of them.  The huge hole that we are left won't ever be completely filled.  The guys are doing what needs to be done and taking it one day at a time.  

Ernie also helped so many people other people.  He had a huge impact on his two son-in-laws, his nephews, brother-in-laws, and countless others.  He helped those he loved by cutting firewood, fixing machinery, moving cattle, building machine sheds, and pretty much anything that needed done.  As his daughter Kate has said many times, Ernie had the spiritual gift of giving.

Yesterday was a hard day for some of us.  It was the first day of our "new normal."  The guys have shifted chores around and are taking care of Ernie's cattle herd south of Barnes.  Ernie's cows have had a good year so far, two sets of twins!  We upgraded sprayers a few years ago and Ernie was our sprayer operator.  He practically lived in the sprayer and loved that responsibility, and was actually the only one of the guys that knew how to run it.  Our local CASH IH dealer came out yesterday and showed Dan and Jason some of the basics.  Dan said it would have been fun to learn how to run the sprayer if Dad was going to be gone on vacation for a few weeks, but unfortunately that's not the case.  Like I said before, we are taking it one day at a time.  

The family has been overwhelmed by support from our community.  There are too many people to thank for their generosity and kindness during this difficult time. ~ Lydia

  

Ernie's Red Shed

Ernie never talked to me much at first when I came into the picture 10 years ago.  I'm guessing he couldn't figure out why I would want to date his son.  Dan's rebellious streak (which he inherited from his dad ironically) lasted quite a long time and I think Ernie wanted more for Dan.  Dan and Ernie got to a wonderful place in their relationship the past few years.  They were friends, partners in the farming operation, devoted to their cattle, and both lived for tinkering on a shop project. Dan is a lot like his dad.  Like Dan, Ernie could be a man of few words.  When he built the new shed behind our house 4 years ago, he surprised me and made it red.  He knew that was my favorite color. That's how Ernie showed his love to people.  Not with words, but actions.  I know it seems silly, but that meant the world to me.

Opa Ernie

The world just lost a giant of a man.  A one of a kind husband, dad, grandpa, uncle, and friend.  He had three loves in this world...Jesus, his family (and soul mate Cindy), and farming.  Ernie Hiesterman left this world to meet Jesus last night.  Savannah and Kaden met him at the gates and they are together at last. Grandpa Ernie is wrestling with his two grand kids in heaven and is no longer suffering.  I have no words.  I know Ernie is in heaven.  Do we need to know anything else?  Our family appreciates the outpouring of love we have received from friends and the community.  Please keep us in your prayers. ~ Lydia

With his Ida Mae who will grow up and be just as ornery as her Opa Ernie

Bittersweet Days of February

It's been a year since our sweet niece Savannah Jean passed away.  I can't believe it's been that long.  She left all of us that day and got to meet our heavenly Father.  What a joyous occasion for her!  For us here back on Earth, it was a horrible day.  I will always remember that phone call in the middle of the night which told us of her passing.

Our family said lots of prayer a year ago.  We prayed for strength for Kevin and Laura.  We prayed for the doctors and nurses taking care of Kaleb.  Our biggest prayer was for God to keep Kaleb alive and here on Earth with us.  It was very selfish for all of us, but I just didn't know how we could all go on if God took Kaleb away from us too.  Kaleb persevered.  He got out of the NICU in May but returned to the hospital for a while in June, but got to spend the rest of the summer at home.  He has grown so big and strong.  He is doing amazing.  He is crawling, trying to pull up on the couch, and even got to try ice cream on his 1st birthday a few days ago.

Kaleb and Savannah were born almost 14 weeks premature.  Our family has dealt with prematurity and NICU stays in the past, but Kaleb and Savannahs's situation was much different.  Savannah's passing shook all of us to the core.  We are all so thankful for Kaleb and the prayers that everyone said for our family this past year.

I still have a hard time thinking about Kaleb without thinking about Savannah.  I know what it's like to be a twin.  Your soul mate, best friend, and constant companion is always there by your side.  I'm sad that Kaleb can't experience what I have with my twin sister Maria.  I'm sad that I couldn't give them the twin outfits I bought for them.  I'm sad that Laura and Kevin don't have Kaden, Savannah, and Kaleb all together under one roof.  I can definitely say I'm doing better than I was at this point last year, but their first birthday on Feb 5 brought some bittersweet thoughts I wanted to share.

Blessings ~ Lydia

Kaleb and angel Savannah Feb 2015

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Kaleb January 2016