How are you "really" doing?

I've been asked the question "How are you doing?" a lot this week.  Most of the time people use this phrase as a greeting, perhaps in replace of the word "Hi", and most of the time want a response of "Great!, or "Doing just fine!."  Since Ernie's death though, a lot of people are wondering about our family and asking me "How are you really doing?," I can hear it in their voices that they really want to know how we are all doing.  It's comforting to know that people still care about our family.  In summary, we are doing ok but here on some details:

1.  Dan is trying to fill his dad's shoes in every way possible, but is realizing that he must delegate responsibility and work with his uncles and cousins to get the farm work done.
2.  I need to practice patience with my husband and kids.
2.  Lorena periodically talks about Grandpa Ernie being in heaven with Jesus and that his body is up on the big hill at the farm.
3.  Ida is oblivious to it all but ornery as ever!
4.  We are trying to establish a new normal.
5.  I have a new job!  I'm working with Thrivent Financial in the trainee program.  After I get the required licenses, I will be a Financial Representative with Thrivent.
6.  I'm taking the Series 7 Exam General Securities Exam on Friday.  Prayers are appreciated for an awesome test score.
7.  Dan's trucks have all practically died.  He and his dad both have an obsession with keeping lots of trucks scattered around and never selling anything that still runs.  3 of Dan's trucks have issues now, as well as do 2 of Ernie's trucks, so he's down to Ernie's little black S10 with 250,000+ miles.  The transmission has been going out of it for years but it's currently the only thing that Dan wants to drive.
8.   I just watched my first episode of "I am Cait."  It's nice to get lost in reality television.  If you know this show and what it's about, please don't judge me.
9.  I don't feel ready for Easter.
10.  Some days I still can't believe Ernie is gone.

I have been holding some feelings in for a while, and that's not good for me.  I have to talk about what's going on and part of my therapy (besides buying way too many Easter dresses for the girls) is blogging.  That's all for now!  ~ Lydia