Not a Rose Garden, but still Pretty Good.

I'm really enjoying my latest adventure which is participating in a Bible Study/Women's Leadership course.  Our lesson today was making decisions.  It really hit home.

Each of us makes hundreds of decisions everyday.  From the clothes we wear, to the food we eat, to the route we take on the way to work.  Life is full of decisions.  I've made some big decisions this past year that have greatly affected my life, family, time, and energy.  This lesson pointed out that we must learn to put God first in making difficult decisions.  We must learn to trust God as we head down His path for us, even years or decades after we make the decision.

The "trusting God down His path for me" has been hard recently.  I was very shaken by the miscarriage a few weeks ago, which eventually brought up some feelings I had tucked away from my father in law's fatal farm accident this spring.  Sometimes I expect that life should be easier.  I think to myself, "I did what God told me to do, so things should be great." No, not so much.  Just because we are doing what God intended for our lives, doesn't necessarily make life like a rose garden.

What is important is how we deal with what comes our way.  I have a good husband, two beautiful blonde haired girls, some cows to call my own, and I'm blessed to be able to build a business with a successful faith based company.  Life really isn't that bad, is it?  How we cope with the tough stuff and rejoice when good things happen in life, is what truly builds our character.  I'm trying to put God first in my decision making and trusting in the path that He leads me, even though it might be a tad bit harder than I thought it would be.

~Lydia~

Being Afraid

Kids have a tendency to be fearless and unafraid.  Lorena, my almost 4 year old, though has started to realize that there are certain things that scare her.  She doesn't like huge crowds and new places until she's warmed up to her surroundings.  She had her first Bitty Ball game last week and she wanted me to help her bat and run the bases (which I did).  After helping her the first time, she was able to do it on her own though and had a great time.  She is also scared of monsters and the big bad wolf.  My two year old Ida is still fearless of almost everything though, which is partly due to her young age.  Two year olds are never afraid.


It's kind of interesting that as adults we get into a habit of not doing things outside of our comfort zone, steering clear of things that make us feel afraid.  I'm currently afraid of a lot of things.  I'm afraid of success at my new job.  If I succeed this year, how will I replicate my success next year?  I'm afraid of failure too though and not meeting the goals I have made for myself.  I'm also afraid of not being a good enough Mom to my girls.  Will I miss out on things in their lives that I will regret in the future?  The list goes on and on.


So how do I get through my fears and get on with life?  I'm learning that I need to be more like Lorena and Ida.  I can be like Ida and be fearless in any situation.  If I do sense some fear, I will be like Lorena and ask for some help and then do what I'm scared to do.  I think it's that simple.  Each time you push through the fear, you gain confidence and it becomes easier to do the next time.  Eventually I won't be scared anymore.


Blessings for a good day, Lydia

Choosing Happiness and Joy

It's been an up and down ride emotionally and physically for me since Tuesday. 

But today was a good day.  Today was a special day.  We celebrated our nephew Kaleb's first birthday.  Technically he's 16 months old but his Mom and Dad wanted to wait to have his big party until cold and flu season ended.  So today was the day!

I've been doing a lot of reflection recently.  I thought about Kevin and Laura as we drove to their house for the party today.  This party is a big deal for them.  They haven't had a first birthday party for a child for over 10 years.  Kaden left us 6 years ago when he was 4, and Savannah left us last year shortly after her birth. 

I'm so proud of Kevin and Laura for staying strong for Kaleb.  Not every day is easy for them either, but they choose happiness and joy today for Kaleb's birthday celebration.  It's easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry for myself.  I think it's natural for us as humans, as we all are selfish beings.  I'm not trying to downplay my miscarriage and the heartache I continually feel, but I think it's good to not dwell in that dark place.  I've been in that dark place since Tuesday but I wanted today to be good.  Even though part of my heart is still aching, I intentionally chose happiness and joy today.  I don't know what tomorrow will be like for me but I know there are better days ahead. 

~Lydia~

Happy 16 Months Kaleb Ernest!