Choosing Happiness and Joy

It's been an up and down ride emotionally and physically for me since Tuesday. 

But today was a good day.  Today was a special day.  We celebrated our nephew Kaleb's first birthday.  Technically he's 16 months old but his Mom and Dad wanted to wait to have his big party until cold and flu season ended.  So today was the day!

I've been doing a lot of reflection recently.  I thought about Kevin and Laura as we drove to their house for the party today.  This party is a big deal for them.  They haven't had a first birthday party for a child for over 10 years.  Kaden left us 6 years ago when he was 4, and Savannah left us last year shortly after her birth. 

I'm so proud of Kevin and Laura for staying strong for Kaleb.  Not every day is easy for them either, but they choose happiness and joy today for Kaleb's birthday celebration.  It's easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry for myself.  I think it's natural for us as humans, as we all are selfish beings.  I'm not trying to downplay my miscarriage and the heartache I continually feel, but I think it's good to not dwell in that dark place.  I've been in that dark place since Tuesday but I wanted today to be good.  Even though part of my heart is still aching, I intentionally chose happiness and joy today.  I don't know what tomorrow will be like for me but I know there are better days ahead. 

~Lydia~

Happy 16 Months Kaleb Ernest!