I'm Guilty

I feel guilty...it's been almost two months since I did a blog update!  I promise to try to to better in the future.  My dad has been bugging me to do another blog post so here it is Dad!

I have always had a major guilt complex.  I feel guilty for lots of reasons, sometimes I even feel guilty that I am not feeling guilty about something!  Right now I am feeling guilty for drinking a Diet Mountain Dew for a mid morning snack and for not working on paperwork for my job (I'm actually waiting on some calls back from farmers and for them to email me some documents).  I am also feeling guilty for not playing with my daughter (I hear her laughing with her Crazy Aunt Lola in the living room).  I'm supposed to be in my office working but it is hard to not go and play with them!  Must resist and try to focus.  As I was saying, I do feel guilty about not blogging for a few months.  I hate starting something and not finishing it, so like I said before, I promise to write more often.

Summer is definitely my busy time for work.  I spent 6 days in Goodland, Kansas working wheat claims over the past few months.  The drought is so severe out there, I have never seen anything like it.  Late spring freezes also killed what was left of a stand.  Here is a picture of a typical wheat field near Tribune, KS.  It doesn't even look like the field was ever planted.

Got to see Mount Sunflower.  The highest point in Kansas!

We celebrated my first Mothers Day with Dan's family.  We flew kites, ate some fried chicken, and enjoyed a few beverages.  Cindy got the old camper out for the day.  

Memorial Day Weekend was extra special because it was Kaden's Memorial Walk.  My wonderful and beautiful friend Angela drove all the way from Wisconsin to visit Lorena and participate in the walk.  She is Lorena's God Mother.  We were random roommates freshman year at U of I and we have been close ever since.  Lorena also went for her first shopping cart ride that weekend.  I was proud of myself for not freaking out about all the germs.

The next weekend Maria came to visit.  It is always great to see her.  We took Lorena to the parade at Days of 49 in Hanover and saw some friends, and even went to Lake Milford for a day.  Thanks so much to my mother in law for taking care of Lorena so we could go boating.

The next weekend was the Linn Picnic.  It is definitely the event of the year!  Linn Picnic is special to me because Dan brought me to it in 2006.  It was the first time I had ever been to Linn.  I got to meet some of his family and friends, and it was when I fell more in love with Dan and with Washington County!  Linn Picnic is always a good time.  Lorena hung in there for all 3 days, through the parade, Figure 8 Race, and Demo Derby.  Lorena also went for her first swim in the Linn Pool that weekend with our good friend Traci.

The next weekend Lorena and I made a trip to Illinois.  Lorena got to ride in the hay cutter with Aunt Maria, see lots of family and friends, and take her first ride in the Gator with Grandpa.  I also got to celebrate Julie and Wolfie's bachelorette parties!  I couldn't find the picture of Julie's, but here is a pic of me and Wolfie at the MudSling.

 The next weekend we did the Hanover Fireworks, hung out with Daddy in the shop, and then celebrated Aunt Kate's "38th" birthday (at least according to her son William).  Grandpa Ernie also gave Lorena her first ice cream.

Last weekend I traveled to Illinois for Julie and Sam's Wedding.  I got to see the usual crowd, Maria, Springer, Wolfie, Jaysen, Sam, and Julie.  It is always good to get together and celebrate!  Cindy kept Lorena once again since I thought it would be too much of a trip on her.  Dan also stayed in Kansas due to wheat harvest. I drove almost 900 miles in two days, so it was a quick trip.

Ok my head is spinning from being so busy.  Hopefully the rest of the summer will calm down.  Lorena has met several milestones since I wrote last.  Her first tooth popped through around May 3 when she was almost 8 months old.  She now has two bottom teeth and her top ones are getting ready to poke through any day.  Lorena started on level one baby food in late April and is now eating level 2 foods.  We transitioned her off preemie formula and onto regular formula.  I stopped pumping after 7 1/2 months.  I was proud of myself for making it that far.  Lorena also started crawling around the 9 month point.  She started out at an army crawl but now can lift herself and move across the room.  She is growing up way too fast.  In May we had a checkup and her PDA (heart murmur) had closed which was awesome news.  However she now has a atrial septal defect which needs to be checked every 6 months.  It is a form of heart defect that enables blood flow between the two compartments of the heart. Apparently this isn't too big of a concern but still needs some monitoring.  She also had her 9 month check up in June.  She weighed in at 20 pounds 12.4 ounces and is 28 inches long.  This puts her at the 75 percentile for weight and 50 percentile for height!  

As you can tell I've been busy with work, traveling, and taking care of Lorena.  Wheat harvest is in full swing and I also feel guilty for not helping in the field, but I know I'm needed here at home and at my job.  I have finally updated my blog so that guilt has been lifted!  Next up is my post about wheat harvest so stay tuned.  Thanks for reading as always. ~ Lydia

Dust

I went to see a friend's new baby yesterday and we both were complaining about our dusty houses...by the way Julie, your house isn't dirty at all compared to mine!

I admit, my house is rather dirty.  There are many reasons (Dan calls them excuses) for its' condition:

1.  Dan runs the wood stove to heat our house during the winter.  The hot air is forced through the vents from the basement into the main floor of our house.  I finally got Dan to admit to me a few weeks ago that it may be one of the causes for the fine layer of soot found on all surfaces.
2.  Dan has decided that venting the dryer into the house (instead of taking it outside like normal people) will help keep moisture inside the house.  He puts panty hose on the vent or ducktape but there is no way it catches all the lint from the dryer.  I think he got this crazy idea from his dad. 
3.  We live on a farm.
4.  We live just a few hundred feet from a highly traveled county road.  Most country roads in our part of Kansas have a sandstone base with some gravel scattered on top.  They are muddy and slick when it rains and very dusty when it's dry outside.  It's hard to explain the roads to someone not from here, but it is almost like sand.  When the wind is blowing in the right direction, our entire farmstead gets dusted everytime a car flies by.  Our windows are almost 40 years old so some of this sand settles in our house.   
5.  I'm married to Dan.  He has been known to track in rotten silage (he says by accident).  He is just pretty dirty most of the time.  He got the nick name "Dirty Dan" years ago, so he has been this way for a while.  I have trained him to not walk on the carpet with his shoes on which I think is a huge accomplishment.

I have decided not to be so hard on myself about my house...there are so many other important things in life than having a clean house.  I do wish my house was cleaner but its just not going to be.  I love living on a farm in Kansas and being married to Dan, so my house will be dirty for the long haul.  And I know I shouldn't complain.  The first settlers in Washington County during the 1800s lived in dugouts nestled into the sides of hills.  Some dugouts had sod roofs that would leak mud into the house each time it rained.  Many years later during the Dustbowl, some people even died of dust pnemonia from all of the dirt flying in the air.  So I know I shouldn't complain about how we live here and my dusty house.  I am very thankful to have a warm home in the winter and food on our table.  Most of us in the U.S. have a lot more than the majority of the world.  But I did actually mop today.  I couldn't really tell but Dan said it looked great!  He is probably right but I'm hard on myself.  I think most women are very hard on themselves about keeping a clean house.  Is it really that important? 

April Showers bring Lots of Time with Lorena

Where did April go???  I know you are thinking the same thing but I really can't believe this month flew by so quickly.  It seems like the older I get, the faster time flies.  I have heard my Mom and Dad say this numerous times but I think I'm finally starting to get it.  I still can't believe I'm 29 and I'm pretty sure Dan is having a really hard time believing he is the big 3-0.  

Work has been slow most of April due to slow planting progress (from lots of rain and cold temperatures), so I have been blessed to have extra time with Lorena this spring.  Dan's sister Laura has been watching Lorena when I work and I am so thankful to have her.  She is truly the best caregiver of children.  Lorena has already rolled over (her first time was for Laura on April 12) because Laura works diligently to strengthen her muscles.  Lorena was diagnosed with slight torticollis which is tightening of her neck muscles.  We saw a specialist in KC who thinks she will be fine with physical therapy and stretches.  Lorena went for one physical therapy session but is improving so much that we don't have to go back for anymore.  Thanks to Laura's help, Lorena has gotten so much stronger that her neck isn't even an issue anymore and that the flat spot on her head is almost gone!  

working on her tummy time

Lorena also spent a night with Kevin and Laura so I could spend some time with my friend Sara and attend a Bar Golf fundraiser event in the area.  Lorena was always asleep when Kevin was ready to play with her so he thought her visit was rather boring.  :-)  She did wake up in the middle of the night for them, which she hasn't done in a long time.  Thanks again for watching Lorena Uncle Kevin and Aunt Laura.

How could this girl be boring? :-)

The second weekend of April was the March of Dimes walk for babies in Manhattan.  Laura went with me and we got to see my friend Racheal and her precious baby boy Thein.   On a side note, it is just so good to be going out and about with Lorena.  I know germs still exist but I'm not deathly afraid of them like I was just a few short months ago.   

Blurry pic...will get a better one next time

That Sunday we celebrated the baptism of Lillian Leigh Olson, our god daughter and niece. Lillian was born 5 weeks early and spent a few weeks in the NICU but is home and doing great.  We had a fun day at Kate's house with the family.

Family pic at Lillian's baptism

The next weekend Dan went to the sand dunes to ride his 3 wheeler and dirt bike.  Someday Lorena and I will go and camp with all of our friends there, but we decided Lorena was a bit young to go this time.  Yes...he still rides a dirt bike and probably will forever.  He is just a big kid at heart and I do love that about him.  He wears a helmet and supposedly "took it easy" on the dunes.  He didn't come back with any broken bones so I am thankful for that.  Lorena and I went to Illinois that weekend.  It is always good to go home and see everyone.

I love pics of my dad and Lorena

I have been working on getting fit for a few months now.  I can run 2 miles on the treadmill and do this about 4 times a week.  I haven't lost any weight but I feel better when I exercise.  Lorena and I did our first 5k the last weekend of April.  I pushed Lorena in her jogging stroller and made it in 38:01.  I didn't run the whole way but probably ran at least half of it.  It was so windy that day and harder than I thought it would be to push the stroller, but I was proud of my time.  I can see more 5ks in our future.  

After one of our workouts

 Lorena amazes us everyday.  She is in 9 month clothes now and has moved into size 3 diapers.  She still doesn't have much hair.  She has been fussier this month because she is teething.  She has been sleeping pretty well.  She goes to bed about 10:30 and will get up about 7 or 7:30.  When I was away in Topeka for training, she did have one rough night for Dan.  When I called home the next morning, Dan proclaimed that it was the "worst night of his life."  He was being a bit dramatic but I guess she was up 3 times for him.  She has been less fussy the past few days though.  She still has big blue eyes which we still find hard to believe.  She will grab at toys, put things in her mouth, likes playing in her activity chair, and recently found her feet.  She will roll over and can almost sit up by herself.  She squeals like a pig now, will laugh a lot, and grins when you tickle her.  Like I said, she amazes us everyday.

  

Our baby doll Lorena

Sharing some wisdom

Isn't it interesting how our experiences give us a whole new perspective on life?  When we have suffered through difficult times it brings us to a whole new level of understanding.  My mother-in-law Cindy has been through a lot with her life and she holds a lot of "wisdom" which she likes to share with all of us!  I have to admit that some things go in one ear and out the other during our conversations, but occasionally she says things that make my ears perk up.  A few months ago we were talking and she said, "ya know Lydia, you and I are a lot alike!."  Have I been hanging around with my mother-in-law too much?  :-) Anyway, I plan on sharing some wisdom with you and you can either read it or ignore it, but I just can't be silent anymore. 

My heart aches for anyone who is going through infertility or miscarriages.  Dan and I didn't really try very long (just a few years in total, but just about 6 months using intervention).  We didn't really tell anyone what we were going through because it is rather embarrassing not to be able to get pregnant.  Now that we have "overcome infertility" (I really don't think you ever get over it!) and have Lorena, I think it is rather sad that I feel like I can talk about it now.  I wish that I could have blogged about my feelings during those rough years.  There are a lot of people out there suffering and it is still painful to think back on those days.  I know we will have to go through the same process next time too.  Perhaps my blog could have helped me (and you, whoever you are) work through those painful moments when it seemed like everyone was getting pregnant but us. 

Having a preemie really changes perspective too.  Just this past month, I have let myself kiss my daughter.  I was convinced that if I kissed Lorena (even on her cheek or forehead), she would get sick and have to be hospitalized.  It feels good to let my guard down and kiss her chubby cheeks now.  Looking back, I was terrified to let anyone hold her up until March.  I had created this world in my head that she would get RSV and be on a ventilator immediately if someone touched her.  I have finally relaxed.  We have started going back to church and being around more people.  We did the Palmer Easter Egg hunt with cousins and then we did Easter dinners with family.  It is finally starting to feel normal.

I have always been pro-life, but having a preemie definitely has strengthened my views on life.  We saw Lorena's heartbeat when she was 6 1/2 weeks gestation.  She was a fully formed baby, flailing her arms and legs around, during our 10 week ultrasound.  I felt my precious baby move at 20 weeks and found out she was a girl at 22 weeks.  And gave birth to her unexpectedly at 28 weeks.  I'm so thankful for the NICU doctors and nurses who fought for Lorena's life.  Without them and the grace of God, she would not be here today, celebrating her 7 month birthday! 

Birthday   2 pounds 7.9 ounces

 

7 months - over 16 1/2 pounds

I'm not trying to offend anyone with my comments, nor am I condemning any person who has experienced abortion, I'm just merely sharing my thoughts.  I know I have many family and friends that have different opinions on this subject.  I have been rather lucky.  I never had to deal with an unplanned or teen pregnancy, or gone through trauma of rape, when abortion feels like the best option.  I just think that something is wrong in our society.  How can lawmakers and organizations with power and money tell us that these babies are just a clump of cells?  I have mourned a first trimester miscarriage, and cried with moms who have experienced second trimester miscarriages.  We treat these as valid losses but what about the babies who have been aborted at these stages?   Through our experience, we have learned that even babies born at 22-23 weeks gestation can thrive if given proper NICU care. Babies have been aborted at this age and even into the third trimester!   With NICU care and God's healing power, these babies could have survived. Our NICU doctors and nurses fought hard to keep Lorena alive. With all the medical advances in neonatal care, it just doesn't make sense to me that some babies have been aborted and thrown away like trash at viable stages.  Once again, I am not blaming the moms.  I blame our society which accepts killing babies.  I believe that life begins at conception and that each of us has the right to life.  I am the first to admit that this is a very complicated issue and that I don't have all the answers.  I just know that having adoption resources, access to care for teens and women with unplanned pregnancies, more education, and after care for families who have experienced abortion may help.  I just know that the culture of life needs to change somehow because innocent babies are dying everyday.  I also believe that those of us that are pro-life and are afraid to offend someone, shouldn't be silent anymore. 

March Happenings

I have always loved March because it's my birthday month.  I turned 29 on March 7 and was able to make a quick trip back to Illinois to celebrate with my twin sister.  Twins have to celebrate birthdays together after all.  Dan was unable to make it due to calving and other farm responsibilities.  It was so good to see family and friends at Maria's housewarming party (she just bought her first house).  Lorena was a big hit at the party!  I think about everyone woman at the party got to hold her.  This was a HUGE deal for me...it was the first time I let people hold her without sanitizing hands.  Dan and I are ready to let people enjoy Lorena as much as we do.  We know that we can't keep her in a bubble forever but we definitely tried for the past 6 months.  I'm not throwing my hand sanitizer away just yet but we are getting a bit more lenient, which is probably why she has some sort of virus at the moment.  The doctor put her on amoxicillin since she is slightly congested.  She tested negative for RSV thank goodness.  She is acting fine but has a bit of a cough at night and stuffy nose throughout the day.  She is such a tough little girl.  I honestly thought it would be the end of the world when she got her first cold but she is proving to be not as fragile as I thought.

Lots happened in March before my birthday.  Mom, Dad, Addie, and Maria made the trip over for Lorena's Ratification ceremony.  Lorena was baptized in the NICU the day she was born but this ceremony introduced her to the church.  We had a big meal at Dan's parents afterwards.  It was a splendid day. 


4 generations - Elsie, Ernie, Daniel, Lorena

Family Picture

Some of the IL Family

Some of the KS Family

There are a few relatives missing in these pictures.  Michael and the boys stayed in Illinois and unbeknowst to me, Katie (Dan's sister) was in Topeka having her baby!  Lillian arrived over 5 weeks early on March 3 and weighed 5 pounds 3 ounces.  She stayed for 2 weeks in the NICU in Topeka but got to come home yesterday.  The first picture was taken the day she was born and the second picture is of her at home.  Please pray for Kate and Jeremy, as having a premature baby is a whole different ball game!  Welcome to this awesome world Lillian Leigh Olson.

 

So glad to be home

Lorena had her NICU follow up in Topeka on March 5.  They were really excited about her progress.  She weighed 15 pounds and 5 ounces and was 23 3/4 inches long.  She has been diagnosed with slight torticollis which is a tightening of her neck muscles.  She has always preferred lying with her head to the left side so we are working on getting her to turn more freely to the right.  We have stretches and exercises to help with this condition but the doctors didn't think it was too major at this point.  She is now on regular strength formula and breast milk combination and eats about 26-28 ounces a day.  She can sit up with support, smiles, reaches for toys, and laughs sometimes. 

 

Lorena has done some fun things in March too.  We went on our first walk outside.  Last week we had several days of 80 degree temps so we took full advantage of the sunshine.

 

 

 

Lorena also dyed her first Easter egg with some of her cousins at Grandma Cindy's house.

 

Dan also had his first experience watching Lorena by himself. I had adjuster training in Kansas City for work and was gone 3 days/3 nights. I have to say that I'm pretty proud of Dan. He did an excellent job caring for our baby girl while I was gone! I question some of his outfit choices like the one below but he did his best, and that's all I can ask. :-)

Nothing matches and the pants are way too small

March is also a bittersweet month for our family.  Our nephew Kaden would have been 8 this past St. Patrick's Day. He passed away in 2010 just a few months after Dan and I got married. Here is him in a picture from our wedding.

He was such a good ring bearer!  We were all so proud of him, especially proud were his parents Kevin and Laura.  I regret not knowing Kaden better.  I know Kaden isn't mad at me for not being there at all of his t-ball games and activities but I wish I could make it up to him.  I have never really thought of myself as "a kid person" and I actually thought kids didn't like me much.  Now that I'm a Mom, I am trying harder to be there for my nieces and nephews.  We all just wish Kaden was here to enjoy life's ups and downs with us. 


Sending balloons to heaven

 I will try to write more often but things never seem to slow down.  I can't believe spring is almost here.  I know we are definitely ready for warmer temperatures and longer days.  ~ Lydia

 

February!

February is kind of a blah month for me.  There usually isn't much going on.  2012 claims season has come to a close (thankfully!) so I have been able to spend some quality time with Lorena.  She is getting huge.  At her checkup on 2/11/13 she weighed 13 pounds 6.7 ounces and was 23 3/4 inches long.  She has a very prominent double chin and little fat rolls around her wrists.  She still looks like me but definitely has her dad's ears.  And for some reason her eyes are still blue.  I never thought I would have a blue eyed little girl but Dr. Linda thinks that they will probably stay blue!  I guess I can't sing Brown Eyed Girl to her after all...will have to think of another song to sing.

February's have become a bit happier since marrying into the Hiesterman Family.  Dan and his mom Cindy share a birthday on February 3.  Cindy and Ernie kept Lorena (her first time away from Mommy and Daddy overnight since she left the NICU) and we had a party for Dan's birthday.  Dan turned 30 this year.  It's crazy how 30 can seem so old when you are in high school, but now it doesn't seem so ancient.  Dan will always be a big kid at heart (which I am very thankful for).  He loves doing things spur of the moment and definitely keeps me on my toes.  I love having a day's activities planned but Dan always manages to throw a wrench in my plans. I do love him for this but it does make me want to pull my hair out at times!  Dan is also such a hard worker, something I have always admired.  He has been busy with shop projects, clearing trees, and calving season.

Last Friday, February 22nd, Lorena had her 5th synagis shot to help protect her against RSV.  She weighed 14 pounds 3 ounces.  She has moved into size 2 pampers swaddlers diapers and is wearing some 6 month clothes.  She is very responsive, smiles a lot when you talk to her, and coos a lot now.  She is holding her head up for long stretches of time and has finally grasped at some toys.  She is getting more hair too.  I attached some random pictures of her taken in February.

Lorena's First Bib Overalls

When I was pregnant with Lorena, I knew that I wanted her to have lots of pairs of bib overalls.  Dan and I both wore bibs a lot as toddlers and I just think babies look so cute wearing them.

Daniel

me in purple bibs



me in red and Maria in blue

Overalls remind me of my Dad too. He has suffered with severe back pain his entire life and wears overalls because they put less pressure on his lower back. He is the strongest man I know...truly a gentle giant.  I think having 3 daughters helped with that too.

Dad with Lorena on Christmas 2012

Also, if you know me very well, you probably have heard that I love my husband in overalls.  My friends (and Dan's sisters especially) think it's weird in general that I think Dan is hot, but I just can't help it!


My wonderful hubby



Joel and Kjersty Christy, some of our good friends from Salina, visited Lorena in the NICU when she was just a few weeks old. She was hovering around the two pound mark when they visited so she was pretty much at her tiniest point! They brought a pair of size 6 month pink camo bib overalls as a gift for Lorena. I remember looking at them and thinking it would take YEARS for her to get big enough to wear them.  We think Lorena weighs about 13 pounds by now.  She just turned 5 months old and has been gaining so much weight recently that I thought I would try them on her.  They are a bit long but fit perfectly around her chubby tummy. 

 

Not so sure about the bibs

 

I think she likes them!