Tired but Thankful

Just got a call from Deb this morning.  Lorena took one whole feeding today (42 mils) strictly from her bottle!  This is a huge step and Deb was super excited for Lorena.  She also decided to take her off caffeine.  Preemie babies are on caffeine to help with breathing.  Some babies go home on caffeine, but Deb is hoping to wean Lorena off of it before she goes home.  It takes several days for the caffeine to leave her system so we will know more on Sunday or Monday.  Lorena's eye infection is also getting better.  She is almost done with her antibiotic ointment for her strep and staph infection in her eye.  Lorena is growing so much.  She gained weight last night too (but I forgot to ask Deb how much).  On Wednesday night's weigh in, she weighed 4 pound and 9.4 ounces.  She has been gaining an ounce to an ounce and a half every day.  She is almost too big for one of her preemie outfits.  She has come so far.  It truly is a miracle.

I always get great ideas for blogs when I am up for my 3:30 a.m. pumping session.  I usually watch FoxNews and check Facebook for updates even though not many people update in the middle of the night.    I have been super stressed and just feeling very overwhelmed again the past few days.  Most days I'm good, but occasionally I have a "bad" day.  Anyway, Thursday was one of those days.  As I was saying earlier, I had a great idea for my blog early this morning.  I have been "tired" of so many things recently that are happening in my life.  I do realize I need to be "thankful" for all of the good things too.  Tara (the social worker in the NICU) told me I need to make lists when I am overwhelmed.  Therefore, I am making a list of things I am "tired of" followed by a list of things I am "thankful for."

1.  I am tired of driving to Topeka all of the time but thankful that there is a top notch NICU only two hours away.  We have had great care there...awesome doctors, nurse practitioners, and nurses.

2.  I am tired of driving all over the state for work but thankful to have a job with awesome co-workers (especially Dan and Lance) who have stepped up and covered for me when I needed them most.

3.  I am tired of being so far away from my family and friends in Illinois but am thankful for my Kansas family and all of the friends I have made here so far ( I can't believe I have been here almost 4 years!).

4.  I am tired of counting Weight Watchers points already but thankful that I have a good WW group in Marysville which will keep my honest about my weight loss goals.

5.  I am tired of Dan working so much on the farm but so thankful he is able to farm with his family.  As a child, I remember being proud that my parents were farmers and feeling so lucky to have been raised on a farm.  I hope Lorena can feel that way too someday.

6.  I am tired of having a baby in the NICU but thankful to have a baby in the NICU.  I know so many couples who have struggled to conceive or who are struggling to conceive.  Lorena is here, healthy, and growing and I need to remind myself of this.

7.  I am tired of pumping eight times a day and lugging my breast pump with me everywhere but thankful for having a milk supply to help Lorena grow.  Some NICU moms aren't able to supply any breast milk due to stress, health conditions, or other reasons.

8.  I am tired of trying to figure out how I am going to juggle work, home responsibilities, a preemie, and a husband but thankful I have Dan here to make me laugh and help me relax.  He says everything will work out and not to worry so much.  I don't like admitting he is right...but I do know that everything will work out somehow.  I wish I could be more carefree like Dan!

That's all I can think of for now.  As you can tell, my blog is therapeutic for me.  I am still tired but writing has helped me be more thankful today.  Thanks for reading and thinking of us.

Jamie feeding Lorena

Sleeping like a rock - notice her chubby hands