Black Cats

So the pregnancy insomnia has begun!  I have been waking up between 5 and 6 every morning and can't fall back asleep.  I usually don't get up until 7 so this is rather frustrating.  Therefore, I have been taking advantage of the extra hour to get paperwork done.  I also get a lot of inspiration from my blog during the early morning hours.

I have reached a point in my pregnancy where I'm feeling a little bit more comfortable that everything will be ok.  Random people on the street are asking me when I'm due which means I'm finally starting to show.  I do feel bigger earlier on during this pregnancy.  I have also started to feel the baby move around which is very reassuring.  It was probably a month later into the pregnancy before I finally felt Lorena move, which is typical for a first pregnancy.  I'm currently 18 weeks pregnant with Baby girl.

18 weeks

I'm a rather superstitious person.  If I see a penny heads up, I have to pick it up.  If I go in one door of a house, I like exiting out of the same door.  I don't like having umbrellas open in the house and I always throw salt over my shoulder if I happen to spill it.  I've broken a lot of mirrors in my 29 years and don't want to break anymore.  Apparently my Grandma Seely was like this.  Mom told me that if Grandma (she died when I was 1 so I never had the chance to meet her) put her panty hose or undergarments on inside out, she would wear them like that all day because it was bad luck to turn them right side in.  Sometimes I feel like if something has happened in the past, it will happen again if I follow the same sequence of activities leading up to the event.  Dan thinks I'm nuts.  I have done a few things in this pregnancy that I thought I would have a hard time during this time around.  First, I went into Motherhood Maternity a few weeks ago and second I bought a maternity dress this week.  I went into Motherhood Maternity when I was 26 weeks pregnant with Lorena and bought the cutest maternity dresses.  Everyone knows what happened just a week after that.  I had to take the dresses back to the store after I had her because obviously I wouldn't need them anymore.  I'm not saying that just because I went into a certain store and bought a dress, I will go into labor.  But the thought did cross my mind.

 As Christians I know we are supposed to give our worries up to God in the form of prayer.  Worry does nothing but bring us down.  I also know that in reality superstitions aren't real.  Why is this so hard for me?  Does anybody else struggle with this?  Perhaps this is why God put me with Dan.  He doesn't have a bone in his body that would ever worry about anything.  Dan does reassure me that everything will be ok, no matter what happens in the future.  He also is good about reminding me to be positive.  He also does think I'm crazy, but I'm using hormones as the current excuse for my behavior.

I have also seen a lot of black cats recently, and a few have even crossed in front of my car as I'm driving (this is a huge red flag for us superstitious people!).  Everything is still fine though so I'm hoping this is just God's way of telling me that all of these superstitions are nuts and that I just need to finally trust him.