Mom, you are right

My sisters and I grew up on a grain and livestock farm in west-central Illinois.  My Dad farmed full time and Mom helped where she could with errands and meals, but most of the time Mom took care of the childcare duties.  Farming was fairly flexible during the year so Dad and Mom made it to most of our recitals, basketball games, and school banquets.  But I know Dad spent a lot of time working, especially when we were younger, and Mom picked up the slack on the home front.  I remember sitting our lawn chairs in the driveway during the evenings in the fall, waiting for the combine lights to come down the road.  Mom spent lots of evenings with us kids, waiting for Dad to get home from the field. 


I often struggle with being a Farm wife.  I feel like my Mom, as well as the women in Dan's family, make it look easy.  I still get upset when he works late sometimes.  I understand that it's a necessity during certain times of the year, but it's still hard on me nonetheless.  It's been difficult for me not having Ernie (my father-in-law) here.  I am by myself more at night and on the weekends, taking care of the kids after working during the day.  I have to give them baths by myself, do all the laundry, all of the cleaning and cooking, and other household things that need to be done.  It's hard on me, and I've been wallowing in the fact that it's harder on ME now.


My Mom listened to me today on the phone as I was complaining to her and said "I'm just not going to ask Dan to do anything else anymore!"  Then Mom said in her kind voice, "Lydia, you have to remember what Dan went through.  He's been through a lot and you need to think about him."


Mom you are right, I've been thinking about me a lot recently and not so much about Dan.  He's been through a traumatic situation, and is coping with it by working more hours, and keeping very busy on the farm.  He does help with some things around the house but I fail to notice these things because I'm usually mad at him when he gets home from working!  He appears ok on the outside but I know deep down he is still hurting.  Thanks Mom for reminding me to put others first, like you have done your whole life.  ~ Lydia