I know it's part of the process, but things seem harder now emotionally for some of us. It's been almost 2 months since Ernie passed away but the wound still feels very fresh.
I think life is harder now because the initial shock has gone away. We are slowly coming up to breathe. Now that we are breathing again, we are able to assess the situation that is our new reality. The realization of our new normal is sometimes too hard to bear. At times it's easier to not let my mind "go there." It's much easier to focus on studying for my exams, Lorena and Ida's activities, and complaining about Dan not having my container garden built yet. But when the girls have fallen asleep and the living room is quiet, my mind goes to a place that is rather painful.
I feel bad for our situation and I wish it wasn't our reality. As Cindy reminded us yesterday, she isn't the first wife to lose her husband. Our family has had many challenges, but we aren't the first family to experience tragedy. I know God is with us through the process. I trust in Him that He knows what He is doing.
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