Finding Peace

I took this picture today as we watched Dan bale the alfalfa hay in the bottom.  Ernie's grave sits high up on the hill.  I found peace there today.  I stay busy with work and Lorena and Ida, which are nice distractions from the pain of our loss.  The grief eventually catches up to you if you don't acknowledge it.  I'm embarrassed to admit that I haven't been to the grave since we buried him 3 months ago.  It's just too hard for me to go there, but I'm realizing that I need to let myself "go there" emotionally and physically. 


Dan's been handling life and what's been thrown at him pretty well the past 3 months, but this alfalfa situation has been causing him some anxiety!  It's been a cool and wet spring.  It rains every other day, the forecast is constantly changing, and the windows to cut, rake, and bale the alfalfa are pretty small. 


Today he was determined to get his Dad's hay raked and baled.  Dan's mom Cindy, the girls, and I brought him lunch and checked on his progress.  Even though rain clouds were moving our way, he was baling when we got there early this afternoon.


Dan has put a lot of pressure on himself to do well this year.  He wants his dad to be proud of him.  I know Ernie would fine peace in seeing his son finish baling the first crop of alfalfa for the year.  Hopefully Dan finds peace when the last hay bale is placed in the shed before the rain comes tonight.


~Lydia~